Okay, I am going to try to keep this as simple as possible, without getting too much into psychological or scientific terms.
The common buzzword in today’s time is “regulating your nervous system.” Studies have shown the interactions between psychological states and the physiological system, and how they affect the way we think, feel, and behave (Hanley et al., 2017).
And no, we are not talking about “voodoo” methods talked about by self-proclaimed healers. We are talking about the interplay between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.
These are part of the autonomic nervous system, which is responsible for all the involuntary functions in our body like blinking, heartbeat, breathing, immune function, and digestion.
The science behind it
Yes, we are going back to middle school biology. When people say their nervous system is not regulated, what they usually mean is that their “braking system” is struggling.
The parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for rest, recovery, and digestion, while the sympathetic nervous system is responsible for fight or flight.
If the parasympathetic system is imbalanced or not functioning at its best, we may cross our limits, snap at others involuntarily, feel stuck and unable to move forward, or feel extremely exhausted at the end of the day but still unable to sleep (Laborde et al., 2018).
Imagine the accelerator in a car is the sympathetic nervous system and the brake is the parasympathetic nervous system.
Now imagine a lion is chasing you. You perceive danger and press the accelerator as hard as you can. After the lion is out of sight, you realise you are unable to press the brake. You continue to move at high speed even though you have reached safety.
This is what happens in our body. We continue to perceive threat even when it may have passed long ago.
This is not a bad thing. Our body is behaving exactly as it is designed to behave — to protect us from danger and look for safety.
The concern arises only when the body forgets to stop and pause. If the body can learn to stay on high alert, it can also be taught the way back to stillness.
How do we make the body feel safe again?
This is where grounding techniques come into play. However, it is important to remember that these techniques are not used to regulate our system all the time, because that is not possible (Hammond & Brown, 2025).
There is no on or off switch. A regulated nervous system does not mean you stop feeling emotions. It means you build the capacity to experience them with more ease.
Our brain and body are influenced by many factors like environment, upbringing, genetics, trauma, and stress. These techniques help us find balance and pause.
- Mindfulness
This means being present in the here and now with full awareness. Worry takes you to the future and rumination takes you to the past. Bringing your attention back to the present sends signals to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. Simple practices like counting, tracing, or speaking facts out loud can help. - Controlled breathing
Breathing is controlled by the autonomic nervous system. Practicing slow and mindful breathing activates the parasympathetic system and signals safety to the body. This can include deep breathing, inhaling-holding-exhaling-holding in counts, or focusing on longer exhales. Longer exhales stimulate the vagus nerve (Gerritsen & Band, 2018). - Co-regulation
Humans are wired for connection. Meaningful conversations with people who make us feel safe help regulate the nervous system (Murray et al., 2025). Feeling seen and supported can activate a sense of safety in the body.
Reminding your body to return to safety is not a straight line. There will be difficult days. But every act of care and every time you show up for yourself teaches your body, little by little, that it is safe.
At Raaiter Wellness, this is the work I care about most. When you stop fighting your emotions and begin to understand them, everything starts to shift.
If this resonated with you and you would like to explore what coming home to yourself could look like, I would love to hear from you.
References
- Gerritsen, R. J. S., and Band, G. P. H. (2018). Breath of Life: The Respiratory Vagal Stimulation Model of Contemplative Activity. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2018.00397
- Hammond, J., and Brown, W. J. (2025). Building an Operational Definition of Grounding. Trauma Violence and Abuse. https://doi.org/10.1177/15248380251343189
- Hanley, A. W., Mehling, W. E., and Garland, E. L. (2017). Interoceptive awareness, mindfulness, and psychological well-being. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 99, 13–20. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychores.2017.05.014
- Laborde, S., Mosley, E., and Mertgen, A. (2018). Vagal Tank Theory: Resting, Reactivity, and Recovery. Frontiers in Neuroscience, 12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnins.2018.00458
- Murray, D. W., Mills-Brantley, R., and Hamm, J. (2025). Mindful Co-Regulation and Social-Emotional Competency. Social and Emotional Learning: Research, Practice, and Policy. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sel.2025.100159